The undeniable habits of a secret bitch. Sound like you?
1. Your camera roll is pretty much entirely screenshots of cringeworthy things that your friends, acquantances and colleagues have said on facebook.
2. When it’s your turn to make everyone tea at work but you either deliberately do it when everyone’s out on lunch OR ask really quietly so nobody hears.
3. You sometimes take notes on your phone during gossip-worthy conversations so you can remember the best bits to bitch about to your mates later.
4. The ‘sassy lady’ emoji is one of your most used.
5. You have described someone’s baby as ‘ugly’.
6. You pretend to be on your phone when you see someone coming towards you that you don’t want to speak to.
7. But if you really can’t avoid them, you obviously greet them with a hugely OTT embrace.
8. You silently judge e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e.
9. If you have to fart in public, you do it when you’re walking past someone WAY more blameable than you (elderly people/dogs are ideal).
10. You’ve knowingly trodden on a insect.
11. You put your bag on the seat next to you on public transport so nobody can sit there.
12. You press the ‘close doors’ button on the lift so you can get to where you’re going quicker, regardless of whether someone’s running for it.
13. You can communicate your disgust at a situation simply through your eyes.
14. You’re feel a shameful pang of glee when your boss’s child is sick because it means your boss won’t be in (= yay).
15. You persistently leave three squares of toilet roll remaining so you don’t have to change the roll.
16. Hearing about your friends’ messy lives secretly make you feel a bit better about your own.
17. You pretend to be having a tense phonecall whenever you see charity-workers on the horizon.
18. You have knowingly stolen someone else’s food from the work fridge.
Source: Cosmo Australia