Horoscopes

Find out what’s in store for September with your monthly horoscope

Check out what’s going on for your star sign in September, from Miss FQ’s spiritual writer One Grounded Angel.

ARIES
March 21-April 19
Emoji: Diamond

Aries

This winter is srsly not your friend. But before you throw a Gordon Ramsay-level tanty about how the Universe is ruining your life, hit pause and consider whether your notorious stubbornness is the problem here (let’s be honest – ‘I did it my way’ is pretty much your theme song). With Jupiter, planet of expansion, in your eighth house, zone of personal growth, you’re being forced to make some much-needed changes to become You 2.0… if you hold on tightly to how you think things *should* be, it’ll go about as well as Pepsi’s protest ad (yes, the Kendall Jenner one). Instead, allow changes to relationships, friendships and work to play out as they need to – and remember that diamonds are formed under pressure.

On a happier note, your powers of seduction are next level from September 9 right up until November, with Venus, planet of romance, in Scorpio (which is the sign of sex BTW) and your eighth house of intimacy. Helloooo, sexy times! Use this superpower wisely, Aries – especially around September 18, when hormonally challenged planet Mars and Uranus, planet of surprises, do battle… screw the wrong person and you’ll screw up a friendship. Consider yourself warned.


TAURUS
April 20-May 20
Emoji: Cupid heart

Taurus

If you’re the sort who melts at videos of otters holding hands as they float down the river (nawwww!), September is a good month to indulge your inner romantic. With Jupiter, the planet that blows up whatever it touches, in your seventh house of relationships all year (for reals!), love has been kind of a big deal for you in 2018, and the planets ain’t done with you yet.

This month Venus, planet of love (and your ruling planet BTW), is also in your relationship zone from September 9 until the end of October. You could attract a partner of Romeo and Juliet proportions – but without the whole death and destruction thing (so messy!). And Taureans already loved up could go next level with their partnership (hint: start checking out wedding stationery websites).

Expect a tidal wave of emotions around September 24, when the Aries full moon hits your 12th house, the zone of closure and healing, which will light up any areas of your life that aren’t working any more, prompting some difficult goodbyes and a need to make peace with the things that are causing you angst. Stock up on Kleenex and let the tears flow.


GEMINI
May 21-June 21
Emoji: Globe

Gemini

Ever tried to force an earring into a lobe hole that has healed over? (ouch). That may be a bit of a theme for you this year, especially this month. With Saturn, the planet of adulting, in your eighth house of intimacy, many Geminis are finding out the hard way whether their relationship has got what it takes to go the distance. Trying to force something that either isn’t ready, or just isn’t right for you, will work out about as well as the Zoolander sequel (looked fantastic on paper, pretty lacklustre in reality). Same deal with your career, living sitch and social life (pretty much everything, in other words) – make sure you’re not choosing things that you know in your heart of hearts simply aren’t right for you.

On the work front, red-hot opportunities are heading your way from September 10 to mid-November, when Mars, the planet of action and motivation, is in your ninth house, the zone of travel, adventure and education. If you’re ready for a new start, spend some time focusing on what you want. Anything involving study, ladyboss-ing or relocation is highlighted, so start sowing the seeds for your best life. And maybe check whether your passport needs renewing, BTW.


CANCER
June 22-July 22
Emoji: Angry face

Cancer

Adele can sit right down because you, Cancer, are the one rolling in the deep RN. You’ve got all the feels – which, to be fair, isn’t exactly *unusual* for your sign – and in September things get hella intense. Around September 8, Venus, planet of love and harmony, is doing fisticuffs with Mars, planet of aggression, meaning you could fire up at your favourite humans (ruh-roh). And from September 10 until mid-November, possessive planet Mars is in the eighth house of intimacy, meaning you could get jealous or even as controlling as Ross from Friends (oh come now – you know it’s true!).

Then on September 12 – oh yeah, this is quite the wild ride – Venus goes up against Uranus, planet of surprises, meaning unexpected love dramas could send your emotions totally haywire, and some couples will end up breaking up for good. At the risk of sounding like a ’90s advertising slogan, go with the flow. Calming activities such as visiting the beach, spending time with your nana or doing yoga will help.

In better news, the September 24 full moon hits your 10th house of career success, meaning you could get serious props for your work, and maybe an opportunity to rise up the ranks (yasss!).

 


LEO
July 23-August 22
Emoji: Box

Leo

It’s okay to be a little untidy, but if your home, workspace or car are so congested that they would give the producers of Hoarders cause for pause, the planets may force you to get your s**t together this month. And it’s not just about your spaces either – September is also about clearing out mental clutter… maybe outdated beliefs and stories about yourself that simply aren’t true, such as “nothing ever works out for me”. Saturn, the planet of adulting, is in your sixth house of wellbeing and systems, so the emphasis is on getting organised (#lifeadmin) and kicking your emotional health into shape. Look, it’s not the most exciting month but it is probably the most helpful in the long term (hey, that’s kinda the deal with adulting). Until you achieve your dream of world domination and can hire a staff of minions, that is.

The September 24 full moon in your ninth house of adventure makes you super thirsty. Be bold, Leo – there’s never been a better time to try something new and risky. Travel and study are both highlighted by this astro configuration so if you want to learn something new or explore new ‘hoods, be it Matakana or Manhattan, the latter part of this month is your moment.


VIRGO
August 23-September 22
Emoji: Champagne

Virgo

Crack open the Lindauer! You, Virgo, are in a sweet spot RN. Not only is it your birthday month (hollerrrrr!), you’ve got a wave of awesomeness flowing right your way. Yep, it’s good to be you! Around September 11, the Sun, which, astrologically, is associated with confidence, and Pluto, planet of hidden talents, link up to make you shine like a Waitomo glow-worm. And around September 27, the Sun does its thing again, hooking up with Mars, the action planet, and making you more confident than Kanye. If there’s anyone you want to impress (e.g. your boss), make your move.

On September 10 until November, Mars, planet of motivation, is in your sixth house, the zone of health and wellness. If you’re looking for a kick up the butt to get your butt into boot camp, go plant-based or break up with junk food, here it is. Not that you need to, obvs… however, if you’ve been treating your body about as well as you treat your car (like, filling it with random stuff), now’s the time for a fresh start. Same deal with your emotional health, BTW – if you’ve got someone draining your energy faster than GPS drains your phone battery (think: vampire friends, boomerang exes), drop ‘em like they’re hot.


LIBRA
September 23-October 23
Emoji: Explosion

Libra

All good things must come to an end, Libra. Bad things, too. With Uranus, the planet of upheaval, in your eighth house of permanence (yep, that’s what your high school English teacher would have called an ‘oxymoron’), you’ll be learning the subtle art of closing some doors and opening new ones. You could find connections fall away: anyone from your ride-or-die to your work mentor or your ‘special friend’. Don’t try to cling to things that suit you about as much as Donald Trump’s combover. Growth isn’t exactly fun – sometimes it’s as comfortable as getting a Brazilian when you’re hungover and pre-menstrual (*screams*) – but if you’re willing to step into uncertainty, you give the Universe space to usher in something better.

The planets kinda have multiple personalities this month. Around September 25, the Sun, associated with confidence, squares off with Saturn, the planet of discipline, meaning you need to be super cautious and avoid risky moves. But it’s a whole new ball game when the Sun smooches up to Mars, planet of action, on September 27, when suddenly bravery is trending again. So ask that hottie out, apply for the job you’re underqualified for and wear the outfit that makes people stare. Get it, girl!


SCORPIO
October 24-November 21
Emoji: Exploding brain

Scorpio

Scorpioland is about to get shaken up like a Polaroid picture. From September 10 until mid-November, Mars – your co-ruling planet, which is notorious for creating stress – rocks up to your fourth house, the zone of feelings, family, female relationships and home life. Your landlord could suddenly sell your house, you could get up the duff unexpectedly, your BFF could stab you in the back or a family gathering could descend into Jerry Springer Show-level conflict. This drama is not exactly ideal, but something good is likely to come out of it (although that might not be obvious right away).

On the love front, around September 18 your relationship may feel more high-pressured than the MasterChef kitchen, thanks to repeat offender Mars battling it out with Uranus, the impulsive planet. If things are moving too fast for you romantically, or not fast enough, have a convo with bae or a trusted friend – bottling it up will go verrrrry badly. Same deal with your career. If you’re more stressed than a royal wedding planner, going to the beach, the bush or the park will help calm your coiled-up nerves and keep you out of tantrum territory.


SAGITTARIUS
November 22-December 21
Emoji: Shocked face

Sagittarius

Hey Sag, that optimism thing you’ve got going on is cute and all, but sometimes you kinda see things how you want them to be rather than how they *actually* are. From September 9 until the end of October, love planet Venus glides into your 12th house of illusion and closure. If you are pretending a rocky relationship is totally-fine-nothing-to-see-here, prepare to wake up and smell the turmeric latte. Because Venus is all about beauty, you may become captivated by someone who looks so good you find yourself ignoring certain red flags (ruh-roh). Remember the Fair Go motto: if it looks too good to be true, it probably is (major buzzkill, I know).

This month, the planets want you to follow the instructions of every IT helpdesk staffer ever: turn it off, then turn it on again – but this is regarding your body, not your computer. Make a point of leaving work on time, getting more rest, getting out of town (even for a day) and maybe even taking a break from social media – especially around September 7, when you’ll be as easily distracted as Dory from Finding Nemo, and probably just as emotional. Peace and quiet is your must-have accessory this month.


CAPRICORN
December 22-January 19
Emoji: House

Capricorn

Just hold on, we’re going home. To a new home, that is. If you’ve got postcode envy, your flatmates are definitely not your mates or The Block has you itching to renovate your whare, there’s a full moon in your fourth house of domesticity on September 24, meaning home reboots are where it’s at.

If you feel like you don’t know who you are RN – besides poor, jaded and probably a little bit hungry – blame the planets. Saturn, your ruling planet, which is all about adulting, is in your first house, which is pretty much the ‘it’s all about me’ astro zone. Unforch, this can prompt quarter-life crises and a sense of not fitting in. You *could* head to India to find yourself, Eat Pray Love styles, or – in a less dramatic move – you might try to just be okay with *not* knowing all the answers. That comes as naturally to (typically ambitious) Capricorns as dancing comes to David Seymour, but if can get comfortable with who you are right now instead of rushing around trying to prove yourself all day every day, you’ll finally start to feel at home in your own skin. Future You will never look back.


AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18
Emoji: Fire

Aquarius

Can you smell smoke? Yep, that’s the smell of you burning the candle at both ends (bummer), and as your mum probably warned you, that is so not going to work out well. Check yo’self before you wreck yo’self, Aquarius. The planets are wearing bossy pants this year, pushing you to take better care of number one… ideally before you end up more strained than relationships in the Markle family. This means saying ‘no’ to people on the regular, going off the grid to do your own thing now and then, and making sure you don’t cram your evenings and weekends more tightly than a Kardashian’s bikini bottoms. Anxiety could be an issue for some Aquarians RN, and depending on where you’re at, something like an art project or meditation might help you deal.

You’ll need to call on all your reserves of patience around September 18, when a tiff between Mars, planet of action, and Uranus, planet of rebellion, means a lot of people around you are going to be throwing tantrums. Keep doing your own thing and don’t let any drama llamas derail you. If anyone challenges you or tries to talk you out of your plans, treat ‘em like Taylor Swift treats criticism. She DGAF, and nor should you.


PISCES
February 19-March 20
Emoji: Squad

Pisces

If you feel like you’re stuck on a merry-go-round, but without the candy floss and the cute ‘gram to show for it, that’s the work of Saturn. The planet of adulting is in your 11th house of squads, shining a light on any platonic-relationship déjà vu. Maybe you keep getting ditched by ‘friends’ or left out of social gatherings (ouch). Maybe you keep bailing out other peeps but in times of crisis you get zero support for dealing with your own ‘mares. Look at where there’s a pattern – that’s the Universe showing you that you need to make some changes and break the cycle.

That applies to other sitches that are repeating on you like a too-spicy tikka masala. If you find yourself complaining about constant ‘bad luck’, take an honest look at whether you are a contributing factor (soz) – maybe you ignored your intuition by dating someone who you *knew* was wrong for you; maybe you got a raw deal at work because you took a pass-agg approach instead of standing up for yourself. Mars, planet of assertiveness, is in your 12th house – the zone of personal growth – from September 10 until mid-November, so the force is strong around you really owning your experiences and moving on.


Check out One Grounded Angel on Instagram and Facebook. To book a personal angel card reading, visit onegroundedangel.com.

Horoscope illustrations: Bonnie Brown | @studio.bon

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