Life & Love

How to move on from your ex after a bad break-up

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Congratulations. You’ve done it. You have gone through a break-up and you have gotten to the point where you have decided to get over it. Just choosing to read an article to help you get through this shows that you are ready. You are half-way there.

These 11 steps will help get you the rest of the way there.

Breakups

1. Get rid of their stuff

There may be sentimental value, it may just be useful. But it reminds you of them and you might find that you are keeping it around because it is like keeping a little part of them around. It is keeping you from moving on so put it in a box and give it back to them.

2. Cry

Or at least give yourself a bit of time to really FEEL it. Have your eating ice cream, drinking wine with a friend, watching The Notebook balling your eyes out and venting moment. Let it all out, then put it behind you.

3. Avoid going to places you used to go with them

At least at first, avoid being reminded of your first date or favourite coffee spot. Find a new place and avoid the potential emotions that could arise in those places. Then once you are really over the break up you can go back and reward yourself with an “I got over it” victory drink.

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4. Write them a note

Think about it really hard for a while then express your thoughts on paper. Be kind (remember, you loved this person), reflect, look to the future and wish them well. Then give it to them. Or don’t.

5. Avoid their friends

If for no other reason than they will remind you of your ex, avoid your ex’s friends. Definitely don’t jump into a relationship with one of them – that is weird, too soon and will look like an emotional play for your ex’s attention. You’re better than that – cool, calm and over it. Unless you genuinely like their friend. You do you.

6. Get rid of them on social media

This isn’t to say that you are blocking them off the face of the internet. Just give yourself some space from their actual face. Resist the urge to check their Instagram, message them on Facebook or text them. Give yourself (and them) space. Maybe also get your friend to take your phone off you if you’ve been on the vino.

7. Do something you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t when you were with them

The ultimate getting over someone move. Love hiking but they never did? Climb that mountain. They liked your hair a certain way but you wanted it different? Go for the chop. It can be as big as travelling the world or as small as getting that “live laugh love” throw pillow you’ve been wanting. Don’t do it out of spite, do it for you. And no impulsive tattoos.

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8. Spend time with your friends

Yes there is an element of “distract yourself” but also have fun! Create new them-free memories! Meet new people! Find out who you are without your ex!

9. Exercise

Get “revenge hot”. Work out that break-up anger, stress or sadness or use it as meditation.

10. Swim in the sea

There is something about swimming in the sea that makes you feel cleansed. It is fun, free, good exercise and there is nothing like it to clear your head.

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11. Make friends with you again

Sometimes, if you are in a relationship for a while you can forget who you are without them. Find out. Spend some time alone and get to know yourself.


This article originally appeared on NowToLove.co.nz.

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